A visit to whine country

It's been a long couple of weeks around here as I continue to struggle with on-going stomach blech (over a year now, actually), my period (yep, it's going to be that kind of blog) and what appears to be my first sinus infection in years (hello, old friend).

I'm not going to lie: I'm kind of tired.

I'm tired of trying to cure myself; tired of being careful about what I eat/drink; tired of doing neti pot in the morning while simultaneously yelling to a 4 year old to Get On Her Coat Now Please; tired of taking Sudafed; tired of feeling guilty for not feeling like a Fun Person to be around in the evenings and tired of being angry that I'm feeling guilty on top of the blech. The huge newsflash, of course, is that being tired of - not to mention angry about - all of these things does not make them go away. Would that it could.

What does seem to help is immersing myself in a project of some sort be it:

• Making a quick batch of applesauce with an assortment of neglected apples (those janie-come-lately oranges and tangerines being all the rage). I've fallen in lust with Courtney's version. Never underestimate the power of an unexpected dose of real vanilla.
• Trying my hand again at bread baking having recently realized that, in spite of really liking this no-knead bread that swept the net (and our house) a few years back, I like to knead. It might, in fact - apart from the smell - be my favorite part. It's made me wonder how often we replace our favorite parts of things/life in the name of Making Things Easier.
• Finishing - finally - a very wabi-sabi playmat (modeled after a much cuter version in Quilts, Baby!) for our new nephew (and featuring peek-a-boo flaps of his wonderful big sister in all manner of guises.)
• Or even - and, again, finally - making a dent in a pile of bills that needed filing. Ah, order. Not sexy, I know, but oh so gratifying. And sobering.

All of this to say I am slowly realizing how true this - my need to busy/distract/entertain myself with creating something - serves multiple purposes, i.e., keeping my head off my body as it were. A welcome relief.